Calling New York Rangers forward Sean Avery a pest is an understatement. Avery is without a doubt the most hated player in the league. He is the ultimate grinder, finding a way under the opponent’s skin is his specialty, and he makes other team’s superstars crumble. Ilya Kovalchuk and Martin Brodeur both turned in lousy playoff performances when confronted by Avery. Brodeur’s issues are now widely known as the “Avery Rules”. Avery of course, was suspended for some “obscene” remarks about Dion Phaneuf’s girlfriend Elisha Cuthbert (Avery’s ex). In memory of this remark, let’s count down the Top-10 greatest Sean Avery remarks:

10. November 2005 – “How can a guy sitting in an office in New York determine if you dived or not by watching a tape?”

This makes the list because it’s true. Well, that and the review takes place in Toronto.

9. “Without the support of my mom, Marlene, I would not be the person I am Saturday. She has been my main supporter throughout my career and I owe everything to her. This is a small way that we, as players, can pay tribute to her and other hockey moms, and it is all for a good cause.”

Hey, look at that, he has a heart, much to the disbelief of every other hockey player/fan in North America.

8. April 2006, in reference to Anaheim Ducks broadcaster, and former NHL goalie, Brian Hayward – “You’re the reason the league doesn’t have a national television deal. You’re a (terrible) announcer and you were a (terrible) player.”

Clearly, anytime you see (terrible) assume there were a few choice four letter words.

7. October 2008, in reference to Don Cherry – “He’s a staple as far as Canadian hockey goes. And I grew up watching Coach’s Corner, and he serves a purpose. But he really does not know shit about hockey. He knows, like, unnecessary facts about putting Sears catalogues on your shin pads.”

I think Avery was just letting loose some anger at Cherry’s choice of suits. Avery, after all, did intern with Vogue.

6. December 2008 – “Our commissioner hasn’t realized that he needs to probably do a better job of marketing the game and certainly some of the players in it. Nobody cares about Jarome Iginla and guys like that. They’re just not exciting enough. They don’t bring enough to the game.”

So they replaced Iginla with Crosby. At least Iggy isn’t a cry baby.

5. September 2005, in reference to a Denis Gauthier hit on Jeremy Roenick – “typical of most French guys in our league with a visor on, running around and playing tough and not back anything up.”

This one got him into a lot of trouble. He was forced to apologize. He also later boycotted french fries, preferring the American “freedom fries” more.

4. July 2008 – “It’s going to be an interesting situation; certainly I’ll sit back and watch. New York is a tough place to play. Markus Naslund is going to have a tough time, so is Wade Redden. New York fans aren’t going to put up with those guys. I don’t think that they’re going to live up to the expectations. I’ve gone to a better team.”

He also later returned to the team that was actually better in February 2009. #1 on this list is what brought him back to NY.

Oh, and Wade Redden is still having a tough time in New York.

3. “”It’s funny, I don’t realize I’m not 6′2″ or 6′3″; I think I am delusional and feel as big as those guys. It’s a good thing that I have that mentality. I can’t believe I am only 5-foot-10 and just 195 pounds, so I go at guys and hope for the best.”

This explains an awful lot.

2. April, 2008, in reference to Martin Brodeur – ““Everyone talks about how classless I am, but I guess Fatso there just forgot to shake my hand.”

It was classless of Brodeur to “forget” to shake Avery’s hand. Avery of course forced the NHL to adjust the unsportsmanlike conduct penalty after this.

1. December, 2008 – “I am really happy to be back in Calgary, I love Canada. I just want to comment on how it’s become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds. I don’t know what that’s about. Enjoy the game tonight.”

This one almost got him thrown out of the NHL. Good thing Rangers GM Glen Sather was there to save him and bring him back to where he belongs, right here in NYC. This comment is damn funny, and nowhere near as offensive as everyone made it out to be. At this point, pretty much everyone is someone else’s sloppy seconds.

Seriously, take a minute, think of all your friends. Name one that isn’t someone’s sloppy seconds.

I’ll wait.